Something is wrong with this poll, I can feel it but I cant grasp it…
Oh, man. This so pisses me off, but there is so much truth to it. I work in IT. My training class was 30 dudes and me. I stick out. That’s expected. But so did the 60-something black dude. You stick out, you have a little more to prove because you can’t go unnoticed. The only way for this to change is for more to show up.
“We need more girls in STEM!” Awesome. All kinds of programs and scholarships and companies that need butts in seats to do the work. And…first day of class? No one else shows. It would be one thing if they showed up, and then the “sexist dudebro” atmosphere they talk about chases them off…but this is FIRST DAY of class and they don’t show!
And the condescending attitude towards those of us who do show up. “Oh! How valiant you are, deciding to step up for the cause of Girls in STEM ™. How horrible all those men must be to you, and you must be facing a never-ending gauntlet of harassment and abuse. No matter how hard you work or how good you are, don;t you know you’ll NEVER be accepted by those evil boys? But we love that you take the bullet for us!”
Yikes. You claim to be in my corner, and yet you peddle to every chick who wants a STEM career that they’re a human sacrifice for the cause? Little fucking wonder so many get scared off before the first day of class! And thanks for the passive-aggressive undermining of my choice to go into it.
First off, I’ve been working this job for years and you never showed up for Day 1 of class. What gives you the nerve to go and tell me all about my own job when you never set foot on the floor? Second, my male co-workers have been mostly supportive and cool; stop talking shit about them to make yourself feel better about the decision you made to bail on STEM classes. Thirdly, if I have some sexism horror story, these clowns are all ears – microphones on, leaning in, hanging on every word. You want to talk about other aspects of the job that aren’t fair or that might make it unappealing to women (the long, erratic hours, reliance on contract labor, abuse of H1B slave labor to undercut wages, lack of health care and other benefits)? And…no interest. Crickets. They’ve got to brush up on their HuffPo feed or something.
It’s annoying as hell when they want to talk so much about us, but they rarely want to actually talk to us.
Not only that, but I’ll let you in on a nasty “secret”: the people who have been nastiest to be have been the girls. And it ain’t just me. My mother has had the same experience and she’s been doing this waaaaaay longer than me. STEM fields are hard work, competitive and it takes a certain kind of person to be able to handle the pressure and not implode. Men tend to be predisposition for that. So when a woman is in a STEM field you best well KNOW she doesn’t give a single FUCK about a class or project team filled with men. We have deadlines to meet, clients to make happy and lives to save.
Don’t complain about there being too many balls in the STEM court when you don’t even have the spine to step in it, let alone play. Until you do, don’t at us; we’ve been doing just fine for decades.
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