And men make fun of women for travelling in packs. Sighs.
Seriously, if you see this happening and you can speak up…do. If you are unable see if you can find someone who will help.
So I see posts like this a lot. And they honestly annoy me. Why? Because the girls being harassed keep engaging the guy harassing them. So since none of y’all got Cold Bitch lessons, I’m giving them now because 9 times out of 10 no one is gonna be kind enough or even care enough to lend a hand and ya gotta take care of yourself. Please note this is for situations similar to the above; when on public transit or a public, well-populated area and some random came up to you.
1. DON’T ENGAGE. By everything holy don’t engage. Act as if they don’t EXIST. More then that, act as if interaction is BENEITH you. I know you have been taught to be polite. But there is a time and place for politeness. A random dude (or girl) trying to egg you to get your attention when you want to be left alone is not that time. You are a Queen and he/she is a lowly peasant. You are a Goddess and he/she is an insignificant worm. I don’t care what scenario you psych yourself up with. Ignore them.
2. Physically block out their voice if possible. This means headphones. If you don’t have headphone, read a book or scroll through your phone reading something. Worse comes to worse, stare out the window or get lost in your head. You NEED to show with your body language you a) are at ease and the guy/girl cannot intimidate you into engaging and b) you don’t give a fuck if they call you names. Because they will, trust me. Should they do so DO NOT REACT. As I said in point 1, they don’t even exist to you.
3. What to do if they touch you. And I mean on purpose. Not an accidental brush as they move/leave. First, you look at them straight in the eyes. Do NOT half-ass this part. Glare at them if you want, doesn’t matter. Direct ye contact is about establishing dominance and power. Then firmly, but calmly, tell them “Do not touch me. Remove your hand now.” Why do this instead of shrinking away or screaming right away? Because you are showing them YOU are the predator, the dominant one, the one in control. Not them. Shrinking away shows you are intimidated and ruins everything you did before. Screaming right away does the same. By keeping calm the first time, they get they are being warned and this si their last chance to run with their tail between their legs if they don’t want a nasty scene. These kind of people pick the weakest person they can based on impression. You are now showing them they picked the wrong bitch to mess with and it will get ugly.
4. What to do if they do not heed your warning. Scream. NOW you scream. You scream loudly, violently and in the most attention-getting way you know how. Just noisily scream or screech over and over “Do not touch me do not touch me do not touch me.” The asshole will RUN. Trust me. As I said, these people are cowards and now you’re straight-up fighting them in a public area in a public way witnesses will not be able to misinterpret; he is touching you and you do not want to be touched. The police will be called at this point most likely OR some passenger will interfere.
9 times out of 10, you will not get past Step 2. But, if it goes past that, now you know how to take care of yourself. Now some may go “No, you should remove yourself!” and yes, that is an option. Sometimes it’s not for reasons; there is no room to move, the person simply followed you over, etc. If you are able to remove yourself and that is more comfortable to you, do so. There is NO shame in retreat. People act like there is and these are the same idiots who haven’t physically fought someone. And when you do leave, have that same air of “This little worm is annoying me. I’m going to move to a more pleasant venue.” as you go to lessen the chance they follow you.
Anyway, hope this helps. Remember; NO ONE has the right to make you move and it is 10000% okay to act like an Ice Queen for your own safety. And if someone judges you for that? Dump them as a friend. You don’t need that in your life, trust me.
nikkie's blog 