wizwardicuz:

systlin:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

guys hitting on me about martial arts are so annoying when they think they’re complimenting me with “most women are afraid to try stuff like that” byeeeeeeeeeeee

I don’t know a SINGLE female martial artist who has left bc she didn’t like getting hurt or couldn’t handle it.

I DO however know MULTIPLE female martial artists who have left because of the way they were treated by the men in their dojo, just something to think about.

also, people who aren’t in martial arts (and a few who are tbh) have seen this happen and been like “well you have to be tough in the arts; if you can’t handle that, you can’t hack it.”

Dojos are supposed to be positive learning environments where students can understand, organize, and focus their energies in a productive way.

Sort of hard to do that when a guy you’re grappling makes sex jokes while you have him in a pin. It’s NOT normal to harass or belittle members of your dojo. Any sensei/instructor worth their rank and title will stomp out inappropriate behavior like that.

unfortunately so many aren’t and don’t.

what’s even more common than sexual remarks though is blatant disregard of our ability.

MULTIPLE times new men have joined our dojo, and when they were told they’d be learning the ropes with our highest ranking student, a woman with a brown belt, they asked to be put with a man instead so they “wouldn’t hurt her.” Even if that man was a beginner himself. They thought that by virtue of being a man, they ALREADY knew more about martial arts than a woman about to achieve her black belt.

I’ve had sparring partners tell me “I’m not going to try to hit you.” They wouldn’t even hit back when I landed punches on their face. They think that’s respect, but it’s not. It’s spitting in our faces.

As a female martial artist I feel this in my damn bones. 

As a male martial artist, I am disgusted by the actions of my fellow practitioners. Martial arts is about self-improvement, focus and determination. The only reason you should focus outside yourself is to keep in mind where aothers are so you don’t hit them, and to help others improve. I take classes with my girlfriend twice a week and do everything I can to ensure that we focus purely on the art. The dojo is not the place for prejudices or releationships. The dojo is about you, the art and learning. Your only goal should be improvement, for you and others.