describe a video game in the absolute worse way possible: in the format of a “Florida Man” news headline
i.e. “Belgian Man Enraged by Smooth Jazz; Whacks People with Sticks, Consumes Raw Meat” (OFF)
abandoned child with a knife flirts with everyone
Teenage Girl Gets Embarrassingly Lost In Fog
circus child enters minds to save the world, occasionally sets fire to bears
Cephalopod children fight to the death with colorful ink.
Squid hybrids children do Paint Wars
Plummer fights against mutant turtle to save a badass woman
Kids catches magical creatures to fight against more people who will help them to become a champion
Local Swordsman Wastes Time Collecting Shit; Princess Still In Mortal Peril
People Explode Beans Just to Bury Rivals in Rocks
Local Farmer goes Mad: Starts Throwing Trash at Ponds, Claims to Hear Talking Fairy Sprites
Local Rapper Starts Singing at Public Bathroom
Scientist says: Being not Perfect at Playing Music Causes Madness
Psychic Children Fend Off Alien Menace Using Bottle Rockets and Prayer
Plumber Teams Up with Rival, Girlfriend, “Frog”, and Possessed Doll; Defeats Intergalactic Blacksmith
michigan woman is just REALLY good at solving puzzles
Local Attorneys Take Courtroom Shenanigans Too Far; Body-Count Rising
Local man wakes up from 9 year coma to punch evil burn victim in the face. Also takes the theme of Moby Dick far too seriously
Mailman miraculously found alive in the desert, fucks local robot
Local dog uses magical graffiti to save the world.
Local woman leaves home to find her dad, ends up fighting the President.
Local Man Thinks His Dad’s Friends Are Assholes, Kills Them All.
Area Woman takes 200 year nap, wakes up and adopts or kills anything with a heartbeat. Befriends robots and drinks too much soda.
Lawyer man gets super fucking lucky.
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